How to conquer fear

Is Fear Holding You Back?

coaching community mindset resiliency May 01, 2024

How often do you step up to the plate of something really big in your life - that you've never done before and scares the crap out of you – and think you have to do it alone? Here’s a simple formula that will help you overcome your fear and accomplish just about anything!

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How to Overcome Fear


Picture this: I'm in my 20s and on a trip to Martinique with the guy I'm dating. It’s my first tropical vacation and it’s amazing. I'm having the time of my life!


One day we decide we should go snorkeling – we’re in the tropics, right? We find a boat to take us out, I’ve got all my gear on, I hop in the water…and being able to hear myself breathing immediately make me start to hyperventilate. Well, that and the fact that I’m not a good swimmer, don’t really like the water, and was not prepared for what's underneath. 😱😆


I start freaking out. I’m climbing on top of my boyfriend and saying “Oh my god, get me out of here, I gotta get out, get me back to the boat!”


I’ve had an enormous fear of water my whole entire life. I jokingly like to blame my mother because she basically waterboarded me when I was a kid. Any time I was over the top, out of control, pitching a fit, she'd get a cup of cold water and just dribble some on my head. And it would snap me out of my hissy fit.


My lifelong fear of water has limited so many other vacation experiences. I was at the Great Barrier Reef and I couldn’t even lean over the side of the dinghy and put my face in the water. I was at one of the 7 natural wonders of the world, but I never saw it!


It wasn't until I was in the Galapagos and a guy named Cesar literally took me by the hand and taught me how to snorkel and get comfortable in the water. Thanks to him, I now LOVE snorkeling and find it incredibly relaxing.


There have been other moments where I’ve let fear hold me back:

  • Writing a book. I had no idea how to really do it and had a bunch of false starts. It wasn't until I got the help of an editor who helped me figure out the outline that I was off to the races.

  • Flying trapeze. This used to scare all the bodily fluids out of me, but I had a coach and peers who taught me how to do it.

  • Raising my rates. The client I was working for (I used to speak on behalf of their content) needed to have a female speaker at a higher price point and needed me to increase my speaking fee. I was so scared it would cut down on the number of bookings that I got, but it made no difference.


How often do we step up to the plate of something really big in our lives - that we've never done before and scares the crap out of us – and think we have to do it alone?

To do it with no preparation?

To not get the advice of experts?


We show up alone and hope 🤞 we can handle it.


The fear gets overwhelming, and we quit. Or maybe don’t even start!


Did you know I don't do all things I do all by myself and without any help???? I ask for a lot of help

  • from people who have done it before

  • as part of a 12-month of professional/personal development program

  • from a coach I occasionally work with

  • from a handful of entrepreneurs I connect with on a regular basis





Advice and



Get a coach! Get a therapist! Call a friend! Get a mentor! Join a program! Find somebody who's been where you’re trying to go!


And speaking of coaching, I actually have space for two coaching clients at the moment. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or don't know what your next move is, I’m here to help. Just click here and we can chat. (And if I'm not a good fit, I know some people that might be.)


When you’re scared and don’t know how to do something, you don't have to go it alone: Find Encouragement, Advice and Resources!

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