Your Mindset Is Sabotaging Your Success. Here’s How to Take Control

Let’s get one thing straight:

You don’t need another planner.
You don’t need a better time-blocking app.
You don’t need to “try harder.”

You need to get your brain on your team.

Because right now?
It’s probably running outdated, unhelpful, fear-based scripts that are quietly sabotaging your progress, no matter how smart or driven you are.

This post is your science-backed callout and reset.
Let’s break down how mindset actually works, how it gets hijacked, and how to take back control.

What Is Mindset, Really?

Mindset isn’t about “just thinking positively.”
It’s the operating system your brain uses to interpret reality.
It shapes:

• What you believe is possible

• What you assume about yourself and others

• How you respond to stress, success, and setbacks

• Whether you take bold action or stay stuck on the sidelines

It’s not always logical. It’s not always conscious.
But it’s always running in the background, like a browser with 38 tabs open, all slowing you down.

The truth?
If your mental software is outdated, no amount of motivation will save you. You’ll keep crashing, burning out, spiraling, second-guessing, overcompensating.

So before you download one more productivity hack, let’s deal with the real problem:
The thought patterns running the show.

Common Mindsets That Sabotage Women’s Success

These sneaky, well-worn mindsets show up constantly, especially in high-achieving women.
You’ve probably carried them for years. Maybe even decades. But that doesn’t mean they’re serving you.

1. The Perfectionist Mindset

“If I don’t get it right, I’ll be judged or rejected.”
So you wait. You tweak. You obsess.
You think perfection will protect you from criticism, but all it does is keep you stuck in analysis paralysis and secretly exhausted.

2. The Imposter Mindset

“I’m not good enough. Any minute now, they’ll figure it out.”
So you over-prepare, over-deliver, and downplay your wins.
Even when you succeed, it doesn’t feel like success because you’re still waiting to be found out.

3. The Overachiever Mindset

“My worth equals my output.”
Rest feels like weakness. Pausing feels like slacking.
You’re addicted to doing, producing, proving. But no matter how much you accomplish, it never feels like enough.

4. The “I Should Already Know This” Mindset

“If I don’t have it figured out by now, I must be behind.”
So you hide your questions. You avoid asking for help.
You let shame stop you from learning, when learning is the very thing that would move you forward.

5. The Scarcity Mindset

“There’s not enough, time, energy, success, opportunity.”
So you compete. You compare. You control.
You make fear-based decisions instead of aligned ones. And you feel like you’re running a race you didn’t sign up for.

Where These Mindsets Come From

You weren’t born with them.
These beliefs were modeled, rewarded, and wired in over time.

You watched the women around you burn out quietly.
You noticed who got praised and who got punished for being bold.
You learned which parts of yourself to turn up or shut down in order to be liked, accepted, or successful.

And biologically?
Your brain was doing exactly what it’s built to do:
Keep you safe.

Science Drop: Why Your Brain Defaults to Sabotage

Your brain has a negativity bias.
It’s designed to scan for threats and remember what went wrong, because that’s what kept our ancestors alive.

It also builds habits through something called neural efficiency.
The more you think a thought, the easier it becomes to think again. It’s like carving a groove into your brain.

If you’ve been repeating “I’m not ready” or “I can’t mess this up” for the past 10 years?
Your brain has built a six-lane highway for that thought and it takes conscious effort to reroute.

So no, you’re not crazy.
You’re conditioned.
You’re wired for safety, not success.
But wiring can change.

How to Take Control of Your Mindset (Without Faking Positivity)

Let’s be clear:
This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s fine.

This is about upgrading your mental baseline, so it actually supports the life you’re building.

Here’s how to take the wheel:

Identify Your Default Scripts

Awareness is the first interruption.
Next time you feel stuck, ask: “What thought just ran through my head?”

Is it: 

• “Who am I to do this?”

• “I don’t want to mess it up.”

• “I should already have this figured out.”

• “I’m not as good as her.”

• “I’ll never catch up.”

Write them down. Name them.
My clients often give them nicknames, like Sneaky Pete or Alice (the asshole).
Because once you can name the thought, you can stop letting it run the show.

Understand: It’s Brain, Not Truth

Just because your brain says it… doesn’t mean it’s true.
It just means it’s familiar.

Your brain loves certainty more than it loves growth.
It would rather stay in the comfort of your current limitations than risk the unknown, even if the unknown is better.

Recognize the thought.
Separate from it.
Say: “That’s old wiring. That’s not the truth.”

Rewrite the Script

Now let’s shift the story.
Take that default thought and replace it with something rooted in clarity, not fear.

Examples:

• “I’m not qualified enough” → “I’m experienced, and I’m still growing.”

•  “What if I fail?” → “If I fail, I’ll learn. And I can handle that.”

•  “It’s already been done” → “Great - so it’s possible and I can do it too.”

•  “I don’t know how” → “I can figure it out or find someone who does.”

Say it out loud. Put it on a sticky note.
Interrupt the loop every time it starts to play.

Practice Until It’s the New Default

Neural pathways don’t change with one affirmation.
They change with repetition.

You’ve got to choose the new thought over and over, especially when your old script wants to scream the loudest.

When you’re about to send the email…
When you’re prepping for the meeting…
When you’re thinking about launching the thing…
When you’re tempted to shrink, stay safe, or stay small…

Interrupt. Replace. Repeat.

This is brain training, not magic.
And it works.

Anchor It in the Body

Mindset doesn’t just live in your brain, it also lives in your nervous system.
That’s why some thoughts don’t just make you think small, they make you feel unsafe.

If you want to change your mindset, regulate your body.

Try:

• Movement: Burn off cortisol and interrupt spirals

• Breathwork: Reset your stress response

• Mantras: Try “It’s safe to grow.” or “I can handle success.”

You don’t need to fake confidence.
But you can create safety in your body, so new thoughts have a place to land.

The Goal Isn't a Perfect Mindset. It’s Ownership.

Let’s be honest.
You’re still going to have fear, doubt, and resistance. That’s not failure. That’s being human.

But the difference is this:

• You don’t let those thoughts drive anymore.

• You name them.

• You question them.

• You choose differently.

• You act anyway.

That’s mindset ownership.
That’s how confidence gets built, through action in the presence of fear, not the absence of it.

So no, you don’t need another strategy.
You need to stop believing every thought your brain throws at you and start building the ones that actually move you forward.

Ready to Rewire the Beliefs That Are Holding You Back?

My Soul on Fire program is your 3-month reset to break out of burnout, rewrite your identity, and build a mindset that actually supports your next level.

This isn’t about good vibes and gratitude journals (though we love both).
This is about:

• Science-backed tools to retrain your brain

• Nervous system resets that calm the chaos

• Coaching and clarity that bring your power back online

You don’t have to live in your head anymore.
You don’t have to keep repeating the same self-doubt loops.

You can learn to lead yourself with trust, resilience, and real clarity.

Choose your path:

• $396/month

• $99/week

• Or get the full reset for $1,188

 Join Soul on Fire because the woman you want to be?
She’s already in there.
Let’s get her back in charge.