Your Values Are the Answer Key to Your Life: Here’s How to Get Crystal Clear on Them
Jan 20, 2026
If You’re Winning but Still Wondering “Is This It?”, Start Here
From the outside, you look unstoppable. You’ve got the results, the resume, the receipts. But inside? You feel like your life runs you, not the other way around.
Your days feel like a treadmill.
Your spark is MIA.
Your “success” feels strangely hollow.
This is the success-on-paper paradox. You’ve done everything “right,” yet you don’t feel right.
And here’s the truth:
It’s not a motivation problem.
It’s a misalignment problem.
Your soul is exhausted because you’ve been chasing goals that don’t belong to you — goals shaped by pressure, expectation, and survival, not personal truth.
You don’t need to fix yourself.
You need to realign with yourself.
The fastest, most science-backed way to do that?
Your core values.
Not the Pinterest version. Not the company wall-art version.
The deep, internal drivers that act as your emotional GPS.
When you know them — really know them — everything sharpens: your energy, your boundaries, your decisions, your power.
The Science of Values and Fulfillment
Social psychologist Shalom Schwartz describes values as “guiding principles” that shape your decisions and define what matters most.
And here’s where the research gets juicy:
Studies show that when your daily actions align with your core values, you experience:
- Higher motivation
- Greater life satisfaction
- Stronger psychological well-being
(Sheldon & Elliot, 1999)
Why?
Because alignment feels safe to your brain.
When your external behavior matches your internal compass, your nervous system relaxes. You feel grounded. Clear. Energized.
But when you’re living in conflict with your values — saying yes when you mean no, chasing goals that don’t excite you — your brain registers the mismatch as a threat.
This creates cognitive dissonance, the mental friction that feels like:
“This just isn’t it.”
And over time, that friction becomes exhaustion, irritability, burnout, and chronic self-doubt.
So if you feel:
- Tired no matter how much you rest
- Unmotivated despite being ambitious
- Guilty for wanting more
- Stuck in “I should be happy, but I’m not”
You’re not broken.
You’re misaligned.
And the path back to energy and clarity starts with knowing what actually matters to you.
Signs You’re Out of Alignment (Even If You’re “Successful”)
Meet Lisa. Six-figure title, corner office, blazer collection for days. But every Monday she wakes up with a pit in her stomach, wondering how her life got so far off track.
Sound familiar?
Here are the telltale signs you’re living outside your values:
- You keep hitting goals but feel nothing afterward
- You say yes out of obligation, not desire
- You second-guess your decisions
- You dread the week before it even starts
- Your accomplishments feel hollow
- You fantasize about burning everything down and starting over
- You feel guilty for wanting something different
This isn’t failure.
This is data.
Your nervous system is whispering: “This isn’t it.”
You don’t need a new job.
You need a new compass.
The 3 Big Lies High Achievers Believe About Values
Let’s clear the air.
Lie #1: “I should already know my values.”
Nope. Most women inherited a script — be nice, achieve more, don’t disappoint anyone — long before they were conscious enough to question it.
Lie #2: “Values are soft.”
Values are strategy. They eliminate confusion, decision fatigue, and guilt-driven yeses.
Lie #3: “Values never change.”
Your values evolve as you do. The ones that drove you at 25 might drain you at 40.
If your values haven’t been updated since your first LinkedIn job title?
You’re overdue.
How to Identify Your Real Core Values (Without a Boring Quiz)
Your values aren’t what you say matters — they’re what your energy obeys.
Here’s my no-fluff, four-step process for getting crystal clear:
1. Name Your Top 5 and Pressure-Test Them
Ask:
- Would I fight for this value?
- Does it stay true when things get hard?
- Do I feel resentful when I violate it?
If a value only looks good on paper — toss it.
Real values feel grounding and electric.
2. Notice the Rage + Resistance
Anger is data. So is frustration.
- Hate micromanagement? → You value autonomy.
- Drained by small talk? → You value depth.
- Resent running on other people’s timelines? → You value freedom.
Your pet peeves are value clues.
3. Track Your Energy
Your body doesn’t lie.
Where do you feel expansive?
Where do you feel drained?
Where do you feel like you disappear?
Values-aligned tasks give energy.
Misaligned tasks suffocate it.
Audit your calendar. Ruthlessly.
4. Pull from Peak Moments
Think of times when you felt most alive, proud, or powerful.
What was being honored?
- Creativity?
- Courage?
- Freedom?
- Impact?
Your best moments point directly to your core values.
What Changes When You Live Your Values
When you live aligned, you stop outsourcing your power.
✨ Decisions get faster — clarity replaces confusion
✨ Boundaries get stronger — no becomes neutral
✨ Confidence rises — congruence fuels certainty
✨ Burnout fades — misalignment leaks energy
Back to Lisa: once she realized her top values were freedom, creativity, and impact, her corporate exhaustion made perfect sense. Corporate life violated all three.
She didn’t need a new career.
She needed new alignment.
And that shift transformed everything — her energy, her leadership, her joy.
How to Use Your Values as Your Daily GPS
Values aren’t powerful when you identify them.
They’re powerful when you apply them.
Use the V.A.L.U.E. Method:
V — Visualize your values daily
Post them. Say them. Revisit them.
A — Audit your calendar
What needs to go? What needs to stay?
L — Lead with one value first
Let it guide your next decision.
U — Unsubscribe from misalignment
People. Tasks. Performances. Permission granted.
E — Expand from the inside out
Set goals based on who you are — not who you’re expected to be.
Prompt:
What would your life look like if it was built from your values — not your guilt?
Your Brain Will Resist — Push Through Anyway
Your nervous system loves the familiar, even when it’s miserable. So when you start living aligned, expect resistance.
Your inner critic will say:
“Are you sure?”
“Don’t mess this up.”
“Who do you think you are?”
Your comeback:
“Thanks for the warning, brain. But I’m evolving now.”
Every value-based decision rewires your identity.
You’re not becoming someone new.
You’re becoming more you.
Your Values Are the Answer Key. It’s Time to Use Them.
You don’t need a life overhaul or a brand-new plan.
You just need a clearer connection to what actually matters to you — the values that fuel your clarity, your energy, and your direction.
When you align with your values, everything sharpens: your decisions, your boundaries, your confidence, your next steps.
If you’re ready to stop performing and start living with intention…
🔥 Get My FREE Mini Course To Start Living On Purpose Today
Reconnect with what matters. Realign your energy. Move forward with clarity you can trust.
Because success without alignment is just performance.
Let’s get you back to power — on purpose.
