Your Values Are the Answer Key to Your Life: Here’s How to Get Crystal Clear on Them

If You’re Winning but Still Wondering “Is This It?”, Start Here

You’ve got the resume, the results, the receipts. From the outside, you’re killing it. But inside?

You’re quietly wondering why your days feel like a treadmill instead of a triumph.

Your calendar is overflowing, your inbox is a war zone, and your to-do list could wrap around the moon, but your spark? MIA.

This is what I call the success-on-paper paradox. You did everything “right,” but you don’t feel right. And here’s the kicker:

It’s not a motivation problem. It’s a misalignment problem.

Your body isn’t tired because you’re lazy. Your soul is tired because you’ve been chasing goals that don’t actually belong to you.

You don’t need to fix yourself. You need to realign with yourself.

And the fastest, boldest, science-backed way to do that?

Your core values. They're not just a fluffy exercise. They’re your internal GPS. When you know them, everything else, your energy, your choices, your boundaries, starts to fall into place.

🔥 Ready to get your fire back? Join my FREE 5-Day Burnout to Brilliance Challenge. It’s your no-fluff reset for high-achieving women who want energy, clarity, and confidence!

👉 Join here

What the Science Says About Values and Fulfillment

Let’s science this up. 

According to renowned social psychologist Shalom Schwartz, core values are “desirable, trans-situational goals, varying in importance, that serve as guiding principles in people’s lives.” In plain English? They’re the deep, internal beliefs that quietly, but powerfully, shape your decisions, behaviors, and sense of purpose.

Now here’s where it gets juicy:

Studies show that when your daily actions align with your core values, you experience:

• Higher motivation

• Increased life satisfaction

• Stronger psychological well-being
  
  (Source: Sheldon & Elliot, 1999)
  
  

Why? Because when your external behavior mirrors your internal compass, your brain registers congruence, and congruence = safety, clarity, and confidence.

But when your actions conflict with your values (like saying yes when your whole body wants to scream no), your nervous system goes on high alert. It perceives the mismatch as a threat, even if everything looks fine on the outside.

This creates cognitive dissonance: that uncomfortable, draining mental friction that says, “Something about this just feels…off.” Over time, it doesn’t just make you tired, it makes you question everything.

So if you're feeling:

• Chronically fatigued

• Unmotivated no matter how hard you try

• Stuck in “I should be happy, but I’m not” land…

You’re not broken. You’re just misaligned.

And here’s the good news: when you start living from your values instead of around them?

💥 That’s when the energy returns.
💥 That’s when your decisions feel clearer.
💥 That’s when you stop doubting yourself, and start trusting your damn gut again.

Signs You’re Out of Alignment (Even If You’re ‘Successful’)

Let me introduce you to Lisa. She’s got the six-figure title, a closet full of blazers, and a calendar that screams power woman. But every time she opens her laptop, a part of her soul quietly dies.

Sound familiar?

Here are some dead giveaways that you’re living out of alignment:

✅ You keep hitting goals but feel empty afterward.
✅ You say yes out of obligation, not desire.
✅ You second-guess your decisions even after making them.
✅ You feel low-grade dread going into your work week.
✅ You’ve pivoted 3 times this year trying to find the “right” thing.
✅ Your wins look great on paper—but feel hollow in your body.
✅ You can’t shake the guilt of “wanting more” when you already have so much.

This isn’t failure. It’s feedback.

It’s your nervous system whispering, “Hey, this isn’t it.”

You don’t need a new job. You need a new compass.

You’re not broken, you’re off-mission. Time to realign.

The 3 Big Lies High Achievers Are Told About Values

Let’s bust some myths that keep smart women stuck chasing someone else’s definition of success.

Lie #1: You Should Know Them Already
 

Truth: Most of us were handed a script (be nice, work hard, get the gold star) before we were old enough to question it. Unlearning takes time.

Lie #2: Values Are ‘Soft’ or Optional
 

Truth: They’re your strategic edge. When you know what truly matters, you stop waffling and start leading with precision.

Lie #3: They Don’t Change
 

Truth: Your values evolve. The ambition that drove you at 25 may now feel like a cage at 40.

PSA: If your values haven’t been updated since your first LinkedIn job title, it’s time for a rewrite.

How to Actually Identify Your Core Values (Without Taking a Boring Quiz)

This isn’t about checking boxes. It’s about tuning back into you.
Because your values aren’t what you say matters—they’re what actually drives your choices, your reactions, and your energy.

Here’s my no-fluff, 4-step process for finding your real, ride-or-die values:

1. Pull from Peak Moments
   Ask yourself: When have I felt most alive, proud, or powerful?
   Was it when you led a team with courage? Finished a project with full creative freedom? Took a stand when it wasn’t popular?
   These aren’t just memories—they’re clues. What was being honored? (Creativity? Integrity? Freedom? Impact?)

2. Spot the Rage + Resistance
   Anger is data. What ticks you off points directly to your values.
   Hate micromanagement? You likely value autonomy.
   Cringe at shallow conversations? You might crave depth or authenticity.
   Those little “ugh” moments are gold mines—don’t ignore them.

3. Track Your Energy
   Your energy doesn’t lie.
   Where do you feel lit up, expansive, and powerful?
   Where do you feel small, drained, or resentful?
   Values-aligned tasks energize you. Misaligned ones slowly suffocate you.
   Start auditing your calendar like your sanity depends on it—because it kind of does.

4. Name Your Top 5 and Pressure-Test Them
   Would you defend this value in a room full of disagreement?
   Does it still hold true when things get hard or uncomfortable?
   What happens when you abandon it? Do you feel relieved—or resentful?

If your list includes “shoulds” like stability or achievement, ask: Is this mine—or was it downloaded from my parents, boss, or LinkedIn feed?

You’ll know you’ve hit the real ones when they feel equal parts grounding and electric.

The Power of Living Aligned: What Changes When You Know Your Values

When you live by your values, you stop outsourcing your power. You no longer need permission, approval, or external gold stars to validate your choices.

✨ Decisions get faster—no more waffling for three days over an email.
✨ Boundaries get clearer—you stop saying yes just to be liked.
✨ Confidence skyrockets—because you’re living in congruence, not performance.
✨ Burnout fades—you stop leaking energy on things that don’t matter.

Let’s go back to Lisa. When she realized her true values were freedom, creativity, and impact, the constant meetings and red tape of corporate life suddenly made sense—they violated all three. No wonder she was miserable.

She didn’t need a new job title. She needed a new rhythm. So she built a consultancy that lit her up and gave her room to breathe, build, and lead on her own terms.

That’s the power of aligned living. It doesn’t just feel better. It works better.

How to Use Your Values as Your Daily GPS

This isn’t just a theory. It’s a practice. Your values are only powerful when you live them.

Try the V.A.L.U.E. Method:

V – Visualize your values daily. Write them. Speak them. Remind yourself who you are and what you stand for.

A – Audit your calendar. What are you saying yes to that doesn’t align? What would your week look like if it did?

L – Lead with one value. Let it guide your next big (or small) decision.

U – Unsubscribe from misalignment. Tasks. Roles. People. Performances. Permission granted.

E – Expand from the inside out. Set your goals from your values, not from fear, ego, or obligation.

👉 Prompt: “What would your business, relationship, or wellbeing look like if it was built from your core values—not the highlight reel version of success?”

Your Brain Will Resist, Here’s How to Push Through

Spoiler: your nervous system loves the familiar. Even if it’s sucking the life out of you.
 

So when you start choosing alignment over autopilot? Expect some pushback.
 

Your inner critic might chime in with:
 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
 

“Don’t mess this up.”
 

“Who do you think you are?”

Here’s your comeback:
 

“Thanks for the warning, brain. But I’m evolving now.”

Every value-based decision rewires your belief system. You’re not becoming someone new, you’re becoming more you.

It might feel awkward at first—that’s not failure, that’s growth. Resistance doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it means you’re leaving your comfort zone. And that zone? It was built by survival, not alignment. You’re rewriting the code. One bold, congruent choice at a time.

Your Values Are the Answer Key, Time to Use Them

You don’t need another self-help book, a better planner, or a total life overhaul.
What you need is to come home to what matters most—to you.

When you know your core values, you don’t have to chase clarity. You are clarity.

You make decisions faster. You say no without spiraling. You stop proving and start living.

So if you’re ready to stop saying yes to everything and start saying hell yes to the right things?

🔥 Join me inside the FREE 5-Day Burnout to Brilliance Challenge.

You’ll learn how to reset your energy, set boundaries like a boss, and realign your goals with your actual values—not your guilt.

Because success without alignment is just performance.
Let’s get you back to power, on purpose.

👉 Join Now

📚 Source: Schwartz, S. H. (1992). Universals in the content and structure of values: Theoretical advances and empirical tests in 20 countries. View the full paper here